Intimate Partner Terrorism: The Church’s Response. (A Post from the Pastor of Pump – David Ashley)

Holly T. Ashley

The following is an excerpt from the Redemption. Restoration. Recovery. (R3) Domestic Violence Services and Training manual (Chapter: “Church Discipline”) and is used by permission.

David Ashley, M.A.Apologetics, M.Divinity

Church Discipline

Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore, do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.  But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, for…

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It is W.R.A.P. Week –

Porn-Violence-WRAP

From the National Center on Sexual Exploitation: Pornography teaches violence, especially against women. Research shows that pornography consumption is significantly associated with increases in verbal and physical aggression, among males and females alike. Moreover, in the 50 most popular pornographic videos (bought or rented), 88% of scenes contained physical violence, and 49% contained verbal aggression. Eighty-seven percent of aggressive acts were perpetrated against women, and 95% of their responses were either neutral or expressions of pleasure.

Join the fight against domestic violence by getting rid of porn.

Wolves in Shepherds Clothing: Justice for Lynn Messer and Victims of Abuse everywhere.

Wolves in Shepherds Clothing: Justice for Lynn Messer and Victims of Abuse everywhere.

Let me catch you up… In July of 2014, the wife of a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life, and family values – disappeared. Kerry Messer stated that he woke up at 4:00 am from the noisy storm, realizing that his wife was not in bed. According Mr. Messer, Lynn simply walked away from her bed in the middle of the night, in the midst of a raging storm… He would also like us to believe that this gun owning, suicidal woman – left her gun behind. According to Messer, she did not take her phone or her wedding ring or any personal items for that matter. In addition, Mr. Messer would like for the church to believe that Mrs. Messer simply decided to leave the house, the children, her Vacation Bible School commitment, and her grandchildren behind. (Read more here)

In addition to this bizarre line of distorted thinking by Kerry Messer – There was also the “friend,” Ms. Spring Thomas, who aided in the search effort – and has since become the girlfriend of Messer.

Unfortunately, the church has complied with Kerry Messer’s wishes. Not just the local congregation of First Baptist Church Festus, Chrystal City , but also he is still in the business of lobbying on behalf of Chrisitan issues. The pastor and members of First Baptist Church Festus have welcomed Kerry Messer, adulteress and suspected murder to continue in their fellowship – but they have honored him with distinction – as being the victim of circumstances and consequently exalted the alleged murder, and confirmed adulterous with a public memorial service scheduled for August 20, 2017 – A service that neither of the sons, nor Lynn Messer’s sisters or mother have been invited to…

Whereby I hope every single Christian in the area will show up and protest such a crude and disgraceful macabre. (If you can’t make it, you can call, email and write – see the bottom of the page).

Holly T. Ashley

Let me catch you up… In July of 2014, the wife of a Missouri state lobbyist for Christian, Biblical, homeschooling, pro-life, and family values – disappeared. Kerry Messer stated that he woke up at 4:00 am from the noisy storm, realizing that his wife was not in bed. According Mr. Messer, Lynn simply walked away from her bed in the middle of the night, in the midst of a raging storm… He would also like us to believe that this gun owning, suicidal woman – left her gun behind. According to Messer, she did not take her phone or her wedding ring or any personal items for that matter. In addition, Mr. Messer would like for the church to believe that Mrs. Messer simply decided to leave the house, the children, her Vacation Bible School commitment, and her grandchildren behind. (Read more here)

In addition to this bizarre line of…

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Domestic Violence in Affluent Marriages

Domestic Violence in Affluent Marriages

Opening up about domestic violence, either to the police or one’s friends and family, is often difficult and frightening for many survivors. Many feel a sense of guilt and shame, as though some amount of responsibility for the abuse falls on their shoulders. This can be for myriad illogical reasons: feeling blame for “provoking” the abuser, for choosing the abuser or for staying with him or her, or if the survivor feels like they deserve the abuse, for whatever reason. A survivor may even feel like they, alone, can or should be able to change their partner. If only I could stop making him/her mad, the abuse may stop.

This can be especially apparent among those survivors who are more affluent. There has long been an erroneous belief that domestic violence mainly affects low-income families, that the stress of poverty may be to blame for violence. While research shows that increased financial stress ups the likelihood of domestic violence, abuse does not skip over the wealthy by any means.

While women from lower incomes are more likely to access social services related to domestic violence, this may only be because the wealthy have more resources to deal with abuse privately. This may mean they can afford to leave the abuser without the help of shelter services or have the ability to hire a higher-priced attorney to assist them with a speedy divorce.

“Higher-income people hide behind what I call a veil of silence,” Susan Weitzman, Ph.D., told The Daily Beast in in a 2013 interview. “They believe it’s only happening to them. No one can hear you scream on a 3-acre lot.”

For more go to the source: Domestic Violence in Affluent Marriages | DomesticShelters

You can also call us. 480.442.4816 Redemption. Restoration. Recovery. (R3) Domestic Violence Services and Training. A Christ-centered domestic violence services and training 501c3 organization.

#DomesticViolence #RedemptionRestorationRecovery #DontBeSilent #EndDV

#GivingTuesday

#GivingTuesday Everyone knows SOMEONE who is a victim of Domestic Violence. Help us help them!

Holly T. Ashley

giving-tuesdayEVERYONE KNOWS SOMEONE WHO NEEDS US.

Help us help them. Donate Here.

We are a Christ-Centered Domestic Violence Services Agency that takes individuals through the domestic violence processes including the intimidating, humiliating, re-victimizing, judicial process.

We also train individuals to be lay-counselors, lay-legal advocates, court advocates and Domestic Violence class facilitators. As well as provide churches and ministries across the country the opportunity to join our national ministry and receive training, resources and referrals.

“The fallow grand of the poor would yield much food, but it is swept away by injustice” Proverbs 13:23

Our Christ-Centered curriculum meets the criteria for all court mandated victims and offenders and is being taught throughout Arizona.

We are one of the only Domestic Violence organizations that have programming for Offenders.

“The teaching of the wise is a fountain of life, that one may turn away from the snares of death.” Proverbs 13:14

Our mission is to…

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Fundraiser Event

tabata-fundraiserJoin Fitness by Design and True Strength Fitness’ THIRD ANNUAL

TURKEY TABATAS! Get your turkey game face on with a one hour pre-turkey workout, designed for a 20-30 hour after-burn party just for fat!

All proceeds for this $10 (minimum donation) Event will go directly to Redemption. Restoration. Recovery. Domestic Violence Services and Training. See you there!

Preregistration is required, we fill up fast!

@RealDonaldTrump, @Mike_Pence

An open letter on Domestic Violence & Immigration:

Please. Do not let Hillary win.cropped-redemption1.jpg

 

Dear Mr. Trump and Mr. Pence,

My name is Holly T. Ashley. I have been a domestic violence advocate for over 30 years. I have served not only as a court advocate, counselor, and facilities supervisor, but I am also responsible for walking into the Arizona State Governor’s office at a mere 20 years old with a type-writer composed outline of what I saw as a purpose and a plan to bring to light the often dismissed, swept under the rug, or left behind closed doors, issues concerning domestic violence.

And I succeeded.

In addition, I was part of an instrumental group, put together by the Governor at that time, in advocating for one of the first pieces of legislation brought to the Arizona floor and later put into law, making arrest mandatory for DV offenders.

Unfortunately, that would turn out to be my biggest regret.

I told you that, so I can can tell you this…

Many things have changed throughout the course of my 30-year service. Many changes in policy and attitudes towards this epidemic – influenced by the behaviors of our leaders in office – including that of your opponent. Her response (or lack thereof) to the reprehensible behavior of her spouse led me to leave the cause many years ago, out of frustration and anger.

Please do not let Hillary win.

Mr. Trump, I realize that most of America might see your comments towards women as offensive, but I think I recognize your admiration for women. I find it interesting that in the American woman’s plight to be “equal” they are the first to scream, “Offended!” When they are regarded as equals.

I believe, after observing your daughters, and your wife, (even your former wives, for that matter), that you indeed revere women as the intensely strong, smart, beautiful, God given gifts to our world, which they are. Who can work hard, remain feminine, advance in society, politics and the workforce, and do it all while maintaining their home and their families.

During the course of these past years, upon reentry into this field, and in the wake of the liberal tactics of some of the longstanding bureaucrats, in addition to the increase in violence not only that of abuse of women- but violence towards men – by women, I find myself fighting a whole different fight than the one of long ago…

Hillary Clinton has never, will ever, fight this fight.

For Hillary to address domestic violence, she would have to start within her own family, just as for her to address crime, she would have to begin with herself, to address the treatment of our veterans, she would have to begin with begging the widows of Benghazi for forgiveness.

She will not.

Domestic violence is no longer abuse against women, but it has become a national trend of viciousness as a solution for those who feel entitled. We have policies and laws on the books that are being twisted, distorted, perverted, and frankly, abused. As a result, we are seeing an overall increase in violence, but not just men – in women as well– that no one seemingly, wants to address.

Mr. Trump. Mr. Pence. I am a hard-core Christian woman. Molested and abused by my family, gang-raped at age 6 by the neighbor-boy and his friends, date-raped again at 19; By the time I was 30, I had been married and divorced 3 times, was raising 2 kids on my own and making a living as a stripper…

I wasted years blaming my past, my family, and my upbringing for the choices made in my latter days, but the bottom line is that, although as a child I was indeed sinned against, it in no way gave me the right to sin against others – including myself.

Nor did it give me the right to make the crude, insensitive, disrespectful choices as an adult. Neither does it give one, like Jodi Arias, and many other violent women, the consent to justify their carnage as a result of being bitter, hateful, and/or malicious due to past hurts.

Past hurt does not justify any type of abuse or violence towards others. It also does not give one permission to be a victim for the rest of their life either – especially at the expense of others.

Hillary will continue to excuse violent behavior.

In order to resolve this epidemic, we have to first acknowledge that bad behavior is never acceptable, that there are positive and powerful attributes to be discovered when women (and men) realize their own personal responsibilities, self-worth, and that they do indeed have a substantial place in society.

These are the things that our ministry focuses on. We offer services to both offenders and victims. And we have come to realize that not every offender offends. Just as not every victim is a victim. With that being said, we also make sure that those who are indeed criminals, go to jail.

But – funding for Christian ministries like mine are limited. As a matter of fact, they are so limited, that we, as with many other Christian organizations, operate without any type of grants or government assistance that is supposedly, non-discriminatory as well as reserved for domestic violence programs.

Hillary will sustain this trend.

As not only a grass-roots developer of some of the programs that went into the nation’s most formidable organizations, but also as a former violent-crime case analyst and profiler, Christian speaker, and published author, counselor, supervisor – for men, women and youth – which all started with my own personal rise from the ashes…  I know a little something about domestic violence.

However, as an outspoken advocate for reversing some of the processes and policies put into place over these past years – that have increased the victim mentality, blamed inanimate objects – such as guns, inadvertently increased the dangers to our police officers, caused mass-mayhem in our judicial system, and ludicrous pressure in our legislature by these modern-day women’s rights bullies –  coupled with the increased intimidation to the Christian church by way of litigation against what they deem as “hate speech,” I am standing firm in my faith and my mission for change.

Hillary will have me jailed.

I realize I am climbing an uphill battle and am constantly excluded from participation at mainstream DV conferences, conventions, workshops, and seminars because I speak out about abuses of the law, personal responsibility, and most importantly, Biblical principles that need to be realized in order to turn the tide.

No problem. I wrote a Christ-centered curriculum and started my own training and conference workshops – But, it will be even more difficult to implement, finance, let alone promote, if Hillary wins.

Do not let Hillary win.

Hillary Clinton is a devastation to what women are called to be. She is a proverbial black eye on the face of the domestic violence cause – and with regard to victims, her position is either to permit victims to continue to live life as victims, by allow them to claim ongoing entitlements, in addition to advocating for their lack of constructive lives as benefits – rather than fostering personal responsibility and growth that lead to changed lives, such as rising above circumstances to become a beacon of hope for others.

Yet, on the other side of her mouth –  She advocates for women to become “stronger” and through her own example, advocates manipulative, vulgar and abusive tactics in the name of the progressive women’s movement – and she will continue to denigrate women by not holding men accountable for their blatant disrespect and disregard towards women – as demonstrated in her own personal life history.

Please, do not let Hillary win.

I realize that domestic violence is not a political “hot topic” but immigration is – Therefore, you might want to note that if an illegal immigrant is a victim of intimate partner violence, she will get moved to the FRONT of the immigration line, by passing everyone on the path towards naturalization.

Mr. Trump, Mr. Pence, that is also not right.

And yes, I understand the ramifications for some of these women- I personally was held at gun point by a Middle Eastern man seeking “justice” for his family while pursuing his daughter, shelter by shelter, who had left her abusive spouse. Another woman committed suicide because she had lost her family’s respect, due to their cultural beliefs and was too afraid to return to Mexico, let alone, live.

But again, we cannot create policies (especially that are unbeknownst to the American public) that are counter-productive to not only our Nation’s security- but also impede, let alone, trample on, the massive efforts by those who have been pursuing legal naturalization status and jumping through all of the proverbial immigration hoops, as they are required to do.

There is a better way, I promise.

PLEASE. Do not let Hillary win.

Sincerest blessings,

Holly T. Ashley

Founder/Executive Director

Redemption. Restoration. Recovery (R3).

Domestic Violence Services and Training.

Oh, you have enough DV Services… well then, tell that to the 20,000 who went without services last year…

No. This did not just happen. Tell me how this could possibly happen? How does the Office for Victims of Crime Consultant network tell me that our services are not needed? That they have enough “consultants” in their network… Really? Over 20,000 victims were turned away from services last year – and Redemption (R3) Domestic Violence Services and Training is not needed? Really?

Dear Holly,

We want to thank you for your interest in the Office for Victims of Crime Consultant Network.  Unfortunately, we are not accepting Consultant Network applications at this time. Please let us know if you have any other questions.

Sincerely,

OVC TTAC

866-682-8880

 

I wish it ended there – Since the beginning of this year, I have had 3 victims who needed a place to live that I could not place due to no bed space availability. I have not been able to secure safe transportation or provide transitional housing. In my list of over 1000 network services, I have not been able to locate ONE service that would provide a bus ticket, I have not found ONE SINGLE church that would allow me to teach DV classes in their facilities not only in Arizona- but NATION WIDE – Tell me again, how are we helping?

I’m sorry for the rant, but when I get promises from churches to host DV classes – that are promised in a setting amongst a group of people as witnesses, yet fail to return an email confirming class start dates and times – I can’t help but think it was merely for the purpose of self-promotion and an effort to be “heard” rather than act.

Look – we have an epidemic on our hands and we have people who want to help, but this is not how we get it done.

We need to work together and call upon each other in order to alleviate this madness.  This is ridiculous. This is pathetic. A sickening example of “help” for desperate victims who need our help.

One Judge’s Take on the Challenges of Family Court  | DomesticShelters

One of the service provided by R3 (Redemption. Restoration. Recovery) Domestic Violence services is Trial Prep. Through the words of Oregon family court Justice, Katherine Tennyson, this is a must for any victim:

Tennyson states: “Survivors are seldom informed about the legal process. “They think they can just go to court and tell their story and everyone will believe them.” The reality is, first impressions are everything.“It’s critical to get off to a very clear start. Once one mistake is made, everything kind of compounds on that. At the very beginning of the case, if a judge finds that something did not occur, then it’s very hard to undo.” Her advice to survivors, whether they’re looking to extend an order or protection, secure custody or something else related to domestic violence: Don’t go it alone.”

Read more here: Source: One Judge’s Take on the Challenges of Family Court | DomesticShelters

For more information on R3 go to our website: http://www.Redemption3.com

#DomesticViolence #DomesticAbuse #Redemption3 #R3DVServices

Holly T. Ashley

One of the service provided by R3 (Redemption. Restoration. Recovery) Domestic Violence services is Trial Prep. Through the words of Oregon family court Justice, Katherine Tennyson, this is a must for any victim:

Tennyson states:  “Survivors are seldom informed about the legal process. “They think they can just go to court and tell their story and everyone will believe them.” The reality is, first impressions are everything.“It’s critical to get off to a very clear start. Once one mistake is made, everything kind of compounds on that. At the very beginning of the case, if a judge finds that something did not occur, then it’s very hard to undo.” Her advice to survivors, whether they’re looking to extend an order or protection, secure custody or something else related to domestic violence: Don’t go it alone.”

Read more here: Source: One Judge’s Take on the Challenges of Family Court  | DomesticShelters

For more…

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